Okay. Here I am, pick up the remote, start watching this goddamn show that has had so much fucking hype I can't even begin to count the number of people who have spooged over it, and here I am...

Thinking it's either the single best movie in existence, or the single worst.

And the funny thing is... I CAN'T FUCKING FIGURE IT OUT!


Because the movie made me sick. The pathology and the morality written into every terrible, horrible line. The sick and disgusting liberty of each swaying blood vessel and each note of the music and every beautiful way that Depp stood and performed and the whole thing... the whole thing.. wrenched me so bad I think I want to spew my guts onto the floor.

The carelessness with which they showed vengeance was almost liberating, as it was so liberating in London because the law was a terrifying and terribly stupid thing. I almost wanted to dance and then here comes the moral ending. The BIG FUCKING MORAL BITCHSLAP AT THE END! HERE YOU ARE!

VENGEANCE BEGETS VENGEANCE, DEATH BEGETS DEATH! EVERYONE IS A FUCKIN' DISGUSTING PIG AND YOU BROUGHT IT ON YOURSELF!

And here I am, feeling utterly sick. I mean, seriously, I have gagged repeatedly in the last ten minutes and I can't even feel my heart beating anymore because I'm so fucking numb. Everyone died! EVERYONE! You knew everyone would die! EVERYONE DIED! And the people who didn't die were left hanging somewhere in bum-fuck Egypt where there was no happy ending whatsoever and nobody was good or bad. Everyone was just consumed.

I will be stuck for a while in this state where I just cannot describe how the movie effected me, it was that traumatic..

But I tell you what.

I will NEVER watch that movie again.

Never.

Never.

Never.

And that is all.


EDIT: And if I had a Shi and Fedafyr CSS, it would be used on this fuckin post. Definitely.

EDIT2: So, I spoke to my girlfriend a lot about it, and my original argument against it--the moral kick in the nuts at the end... Well, we analyzed it a lot, and Nix put me at ease.

I put a lot of respect in Burton, and I felt almost betrayed that he would endorse a play that seemed to say vengeance was evil and they who seek it should be killed, for it all comes in a circle.. and we continued speaking, and she responded, saying that she didn't feel that way, and we danced back and forth, and by the end, I had convinced her that it was a morality lesson, but she came back with "But your moral is wrong."

See, if it was against vengeance, there were many more terrible things that might have happened, and truly, it was not with vengeance that he slew his wife. It was in order to hide it. He felt.. guilt, for what he was doing.

The morality is.. don't do something you'd regret. And I can live with that.

I came to the conclusion that it effected me so terribly because, in Sweeney Todd, I saw myself.. and in his previous wife, whom he slew to hide his guilt, I saw Kevin, and it frightened me that my idols, Tim Burton and Johnny Depp, would condemn me for seeking a right vengeance.

Nix, who was much more the young sailor or the daughter, was able to look at it with a lot less... fear.. and dysfunction. And here I am, feeling much happier with it.

On a non-emotional level, to close, I NEVER said the movie wasn't bloody gorgeous. It was beautiful. It had just pulled from me a huge emotional response that was unpleasant--a betrayal I did not expect from Burton. And speaking to my roommates doesn't help, because they are both.. well... they don't understand people the way my girlfriend does.

In conclusion, I've come to accept my feelings, and I say the movie was probably one of the sodding best movies ever.